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church : revd jo's letter : october 2006 added 18/09/06 It’s 7.30 on Tuesday 5th September, and one of my churchwardens tells me brightly that Peter Cox wants the copy for the October edition by Thursday, a week earlier than usual. I haven’t given it a thought , believing that I had over a week to find inspiration. A kind of ecclesiastical writer’s block descends; I’ve done gardening , I’ve done The Archers, I’ve done The Story of my Life . What on earth can I write about at a day’s notice? My small grandson started school for the first time last week, but wasn’t at all keen to tell me about it. ‘So what do you do when you get home?’ I asked. ‘Well, ‘ replied Thomas, ‘I go and see if my toys are all right and then I see if Emma’s been lonely.’ Emma, his one year old sister, has been far from lonely, of course; she’s had her child-minder’s undivided attention all morning, all her own and her brother’s toys to play with all day, her mother’s full attention when she gets home at lunch-time and a toddler group , baby gymnastics or baby music group during the afternoon. Emma hasn’t any idea what loneliness is like. But loneliness is very much a feature of modern life, and these villages are no exception. For many people, the sight of the postman delivering a letter, a dog-walker going past, are their only human contact. Weekends, in particular, emphasise their isolation and sense of not belonging, as families go shopping, to sporting events, to visit friends and family, leaving our villages depopulated and silent. Work patterns mean that families living far away, can visit only rarely. And it’s not only the elderly who are lonely; with an ever-rising divorce and separation rate, many younger people find themselves lonely too, particularly when the friends they had previously continue to socialise with the former partner, and when children live with the ex-partner and visit only occasionally. Financial difficulties may preclude enjoying social activities. Yet while loneliness is one of the ills of modern society, we all need to alone at times. The word alone comes from two words all one – the very opposite of isolation and rejection. The emphasis is not on the one, but on the wholly one. It is only when we are alone that we can be fully in touch with our spiritual selves. It doesn’t matter whether our personal spirituality is Christian, of any other world faith or New Age ; we all need to leave the busyness of our lives and take time to be in touch with this spiritual self, because that is how we grow as people. Our ideas develop, our thoughts take shape and we emerge refreshed and energised by that brief interlude of being alone. I well remember when I had young children how glad I was when Blue Peter came on the screen to transfix them, so that I could have a few minutes alone in the kitchen, or that precious half hour when one was at school and the other was asleep! And now, my favourite time of being all one is first thing in the morning, when I get up, go outside and enjoy the early morning garden’s silence, before going into my study to read the morning office, the prayers and readings that every priest is required to say daily. Knowing that so many others are doing the same thing in their own homes or churches gives me a feeling of being literally all one – a part of that powerful offering of ourselves and of the day to God before the things of this world begin to intrude. So do take time to be alone – and to remember those whose aloneness means only loneliness. With every good wish Jo |
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