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church : revd jo's letter : november 2007 added 12/10//07 Someone in my son's parish met me (not wearing my dog-collar) and asked if it was true that I, too, was a Vicar. Strictly speaking, I'm not a Vicar, but it's a useful term, and one which everyone understands, so I said, yes, I was. `Do you work weekends?' she asked. I wasn't really surprised; we all have a fair idea of what teachers, postmen, nurses and shopkeepers do, but the world of the parish priest is rather more difficult to fathom. When I asked the reception class at the school what they thought I did, one four- year- old said very seriously, `I think you go to sleep up those steps where the bells are and come out in the morning. Then you wear your black clothes and sing.' There's a bit more to it than that; I certainly do work at weekends, and, I don't tend to go away for Christmas or Easter. But rather like Focus in Stamford (whose Christmas goods I saw arriving in September), I am in the midst of Christmas preparations. The Carol service, the Midnight Mass, the Candle Service, the Christingle and many more. So that's part of what I do. Another thing I do is try to explain to those concerned the Church's very complicated rules on marriage. As the law stands, you have the right to be married after Banns (the public declaration of your intention to marry) in your parish church, if you are resident in the parish and have not previously been married. You most certainly don't have to be a regular church goer to be married in your parish church. If you or your partner has previously been married, we need to meet and discuss the situation; if I am satisfied that you were not responsible for the breakdown of the other's marriage, I will certainly consider a wedding in the church. This is not true of all priests, however, and you need to be aware of this if you are considering a wedding elsewhere. And to make things even more complicated, because we are what's called a united benefice, you have the right to marry in any one of our four churches (Castle Bytham, Little Bytham, Careby or Creeton) irrespective of which of the four villages you live in. If you are not resident, but worship in one of our churches, this also gives you the right to be married there. And if you are not resident, because you live far away, but have a strong connection, such as having been brought up here, or have parents still living here, then it may be possible to obtain a Special Licence. I can give you full details of the procedure. The situation with funerals is much the same. Every resident has the right to a church service and indeed burial, should they or the family wish it. I feel quite sad when I meet people who have not realised this, and had the whole service at the Crematorium, when they would have liked a church service, but thought that their lack of connection with the church ruled this out. I'm also aware that I don't always get to hear about funerals conducted outside the village, and would be grateful if people could let me know. You are all my parishioners, whether you are Church of England, Roman Catholic, Methodist, Baptist etc? or of no faith at all, because my duty as a Parish Priest is to care for the whole parish, not just the churchgoers. That's why I really like meeting those of you who don't come to church, so please don't avoid me if you see me coming; I really don't push religion down people's throats and much prefer to talk about your dog, your baby or your garden! We have three baptisms this month; Danielle Robinson at Little Bytham on 4th. Danielle's mum, Nancy, comes from a well-known Bytham family. Then on Sunday 25th., at Castle Bytham, Noah Alfie Leeding, whose mum, Natasha, and I used to meet regularly in a classroom at the High School! Later that day, Reuben Isaac, already a regular at our Careby Family Service will be baptised. We welcome all three little ones into our church family. On October 12th we held the funeral service for Bernard Lewis, a stalwart of our Castle Bytham congregation. Bernard was a quiet, gentle and humorous man, whom we shall all miss very much. Our thoughts and prayers are with Sally and her family at this time. And on October 17th we buried Maureen Wilcox at Little Bytham. Maureen was a devoted mother, grandmother and great-grandmother, a woman of great spirit and enjoyment of life, whose passing leaves a huge gap in that family circle. We uphold her daughters and their families in their loss. Details of November services are elsewhere - don't forget the All Saints and All Souls service on 4th., or Remembrance on 11th. Full details of the Christmas services next month! You'll see that I work at Christmas a s well as weekends. With every good wish Jo |
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